In the nude, red popsicles, and endless love!

This morning Kohl went out into the backyard and stripped off his clothes and diaper to run around buck naked. He does it so he can play with water.
Today especially he wanted me to turn the water on so he could play with the hose, but I didn't let him. Instead we had popsicles since he was naked anyway. Makes for a easy clean up. Especially the red ones. They dye your clothes and skin.

This afternoon Kohl grabbed my neck and pulled my face in for a smooch. I just had to laugh, and later he was watching Curious George, the movie, and he starting crying at the scene when they take George away from the man in the yellow hat. I've never seen his emotions like that. I have a lot to teach him about emotions and feelings.

Lately Kohl has been refusing to bathe, however he will get in the tub with daddy. So in the recent weeks Tim and Kohl have been bonding in warm, soapy water. It really is sweet watching them together. Tim is such a great father, and the love Kohl has for his dad is evident.

July 4th 2016

It was like any other day, except Tim had the day off from work. We kept the day simple with relaxation.  Kohl and I played a little outside in the backyard. We enjoyed popsicles or as Kohl says it "popcle."
For dinner we enjoyed grilled burgers and hot dogs. Yum! I only wished I had made potato salad. Anyway it was delicious.
Tim turned in early, so it was just Kohl and I. There were neighbors around the area who set fireworks off so we enjoyed watching them from the second story windows. It was fun seeing Kohl get excited watching the sky light up.
After awhile it was time for bed, so I tucked him into his bed, and checked the TV for any firework/independence day celebrations. I was lucky to catch the last 30 minutes of the Macy's Celebration. Since I could hear Kohl talking in his room I decided to let him out to watch the fireworks on TV. We had fun! I couldn't help but get teary-eyed. I felt blessed to be in this country, and that I celebrated with my sweet boy. One day I will teach him what it means to celebrate Independence day!
After all the fireworks it was truly bed time. So again I tucked him into bed, and put on a movie before heading to bed myself. As I was walking to the bedroom I saw lighting flashing everywhere. It was amazing, and that was the end to my day.

Potty training in action June 8th 2016

So we've decided it was time to try this thing called "potty training." We stocked up on soda, and juice. We even bought him a new drinking cup just for the special occasion. Also we got candy to reward him everytime he was dry.
So we started this morning. He put on his undies and in the first 10 minutes he was wet. Just slightly wet, but none the less I told him to pull the undies off and put them in the basket/hamper in the bathroom. Then I instructed him to go get another pair of undies and to put them on.
I know he can pull them up, but he acts as if he can't. So we're working on that.
Another 10 mins,  and he was wet. Again he took the wet undies off, put them into the hamper, and then dry undies on.

Love for a Father (October 2015)

What a whirl wind of emotions I've been in. It all started about a week ago with a phone call from Tim's mom saying that Neil (Tim's father) has cancer again or that it was back. Then each day Tim would call to check on his dad, and his health was just getting worse. We were asked if we could come to home to see Neil one last time so we made arrangements to fly out Tuesday, October 20th after our walk thru of our new house. Monday we got a call that Neil's health has taken a drastic turn for the worst and that we needed to get out there NOW! So we forked out more money to change our flight, dropped everything, and flew out to Utah to see Tim's dying father.
It was a long trip, but thankfully Kohl was a good boy and behaved considerably well. Here's an account of our flight.

Monday, October 19th
While we waited for our flight to Denver cause we had a layover, I took Kohl walking around the termals to help get some energy out. After all he's about to get on a plane and have to sit for an hour and a half. He got a little fussy walking around because he wanted to go into the restaurants or into stores and touch everything... well we were in front of a candy store and the lady working there asked if he could have candy then proceeded to get what I thought was just a piece of candy but brought out a little baggies with gummy bears. I was overwhelmed by the kindness this lady showed us.
Finally we boarded the plane, but there was one little problem... are seats were on the exit row, and regulations say that  young children can't sit on an exit row. So with the help of a flight attendant  she helped us switch seats, however once we landed in Denver we'd have to speak with a customer agent and make the changes  for our flight to Salt Lake City since we booked the exit row. Anyways, during the flight Kohl was great.  We ate snacks, drank juice, and watched "Inside out", and some tickling and giggling... Before we knew it, we were landing in Denver.
At the gate desk they were able to get mine and Kohl's seats moved, but Tim they left and would try asking whomever occupied the seat next to me if they'd switch. We had newrly a 2 hour layover and so we had to keep Kohl busy while we waited. Tim took Kohl walking around for a good hour, and we gave him more snacks. These nice ladies sitting next to us at the terminal gave Kohl a small bag of popped popcorn and played with him. I was ever so grateful for the kindness of strangers. Kohl may have gotten a little fussy, but why wouldn't he. It was past his bedtime. Anyways time passed and it was time to board for our last leg of our trip.
Like I said before, Tim and I weren't sitting together and I felt very uncomfortable sitting alone with the boy. The lady next to us was asked if she'd switch seats but refused. Kohl and I were going to be fine, and we were. He sat in his seat, we snacked on crasins and chips and shared an apple juice. He was a well behaved little boy. The Lord answered my prayers, and the flight went smoothly. We touched ground in Salt Lake City at about 11:45 pm.

We were picked up from the airport by Tim's sister Jenny and her husband Bill. When we arrived at his parents house we weren't sure what to expect. We went in to see Neil laying there unconscious. We said hello and let him know his grandson was here, and he opened his eyes briefly to look at Kohl. Made everyone tear up. Afterwards I took Kohl downstairs to our room and put him to bed. I went back upstairs to support Tim while he sat and held his father's hand. It must have been close to 3 am when we went to bed.
I heard Tim's sister wake him to go see his dad, because he was awake. Neil looked directly at Tim and said, "Hi son!"
That's all he said, but it was more then enough. Tim eventually went back to bed.

Tuesday, October 20th
It's Marian's Birthday.
Tim's sister Jill flew in from Pennsylvania. Those of us who could sat with Neil. I got to hold his hand for awhile.
It was fun listening to Tim's brother and sisters reminiscing about their childhood, and memories of their father.
Most of the time I kept Kohl occupied so he wasn't in the way, and overwhelmed with what was happening. I didn't exactly want Kohl to have memories of watching his papa die.

Wednesday, October 21st
All the kids...meaning Tim and siblings gathered together to discuss some funeral plans. We even had a family pray of release. It's a prayer to release his spirit from his body so that he may return to Heavenly Father.
We all sat around watching, talking, enjoying each others company.
The out pouring of flowers, cards, food, visits, and telephone calls was very overwhelming, and greatly appreciated.

Thursday, October 22nd
The on call nurse came to check on Neil's status. She even cleaned him. Gave his a sponge bath, shaved him, fresh clothes, and then he started to fade quickly.
I don't remember exactly how long it took, but it seemed very quickly. I stayed downstairs with Kohl while everyone was upstairs. It broke my heart when Tim came downstairs with this heavy sad look on his face. I knew that Neil's spirit had left his body. For my own curiosity I went upstairs to touch Neil's hand one last time.
At that moment I witnessed this woman who was strong and fought for Neil's every living breath just break down. She had to say goodbye to her husband. She knew she had to, but didn't want to. Now it was just her. No man beside her.
I went back downstairs to comfort Tim.
It took the morgue maybe an hour after his passing to come pick up his body, then after that everything was cleared out. The hospital bed, the oxygen pump, everything...
Things got hectic with making plans.
The next couple of days were a blur. I remember spending most every night sitting and talking with Marian. We'd laugh and we cried, but mostly cried. I tried to be as supportive as I could be.

Sunday, October 25th
The night of the viewing. Tim and I both didn't want to be there. Yes we knew we needed to show our family support, but with both people who suffer from social anxiety...it took some persuasion. Marian found a neighbor who'd watch Kohl for us while we were at the mortuary. We stayed for an hour. Tim's big sister Julie had to coax Tim out of the car. Once he saw people he knew he eased into things. Shaking hands, and greeting them. He even caught up with his old childhood friends Kyle and Cory. Tim surprised me that night. It was like a totally different person came out of him.
After an hour or so we left to pick up dinner, get Kohl and go home. After we ate I got Kohl ready for bed, while Tim went back for his mom. We were driving her car after all. Marian came home with an envelope for me. I thought "what in the world..." When I opened it to see $200 cash and a note from my dearest friend Sam, I cried. I immediately called her to thank her. I just wished I hadn't left the viewing. I would have seen her and hugged her, but we had a wonderful phone conversation.

Monday, October 26th
The day of the funeral. My mom drove up to watch Kohl while Tim and I went to the funeral. Again anxiety hit hard, but we got through it. Tim greeted family members close and distanced, at the viewing that's  held right before the funeral services. Tim stayed close to his friends Kyle and Cory, until it was time for the final good byes were said to Neil and they closed the casket. They were all walked into the chapel where Tim and I sat at the very back. We thought it'd help with his anxiety to be close to the back. He made it through to the right before the closing song before he went out into the foyer. I had to stay because I had to give the closing prayer.
It was a beautiful service. Wonderful talks, and beautiful music.
Then it was time to go to the burial ground and lay his body into the earth. Tim and I rode with Marian in the limo, which was provided by the mourtuary.
At the burial site, there was a prayer and a honorable gun solute for his services in the National Guard. It was incredible.
After the funeral it's traditional to have a luncheon, but Tim and I did not stay for that. We needed some alone time. Away from family, and guests. We needed to process all of what was going on, so we went home to rescue my mom from Kohl. Come to find out that he really kept her on her toes. He got out into the garage, but the door was locked from the inside so they had no way of getting into the house, but after playing around and under papa's truck, my mom made her way into the house through the back where I had left the door unlocked. I felt so bad. My son took advantage of her, and played with things he wasn't supposed to.
Things were still a bit crazy, but started to settle down. Marian was bombard with flowers. Jeff, his girlfriend Stephanie, Julie and I helped unload things and find places for everything.
That night was like any other night. We sat and talked before we went to bed.

Tuesday, October 27th
Time to return to our home in Texas. We had to get back to sign the closing papers for our house. We left in the afternoon and our seats were altogether all the way home. All I remember is that Kohl behaved. He had a little trouble sitting still, but really did a good job of keeping quiet. When we arrived at home it was early evening so we got something to eat, and sat down for a bit before our nightly routine and bedtime.

Words can never express how grateful we are to the friends, coworkers, and bosses that through the whole ordeal were so supportive, and kind.

Choo- choo, someone turned two! 3.9.14

We had a great time celebrating our little man's birthday. It was a train theme, as he loves his trains. Our friends Katie, Drew, and Kohl's play mate PJ helped us celebrate. 

Notoriously horrible in keeping up my blog

So kind of catching up Tim and I celebrated our 11th wedding anniversary in October 2014, as well as Tim's 35th birthday.
Kohl was dressed up as a yellow minion from "Despicable Me" for Halloween. He really was so cute in his costume, and I'm glad I got photos taken. We didn't go out trick-or-treating, but he seemed to enjoy dressing up in his costume.

For Thanksgiving I cooked a small feast that was enjoyed immensely. Turkey roast, green beans, mashed potatoes, stuffing and rolls. I also made a banana cream pie. The crust was pre made, but I cooked the fill from scratch. It was delicious and then we each had our pies. Tim with a store bought Marie Calendar's banana cream pie, and me with my pumpkin pie.

Nurse Mom to the Rescue

It is hard watching your child be sick, but today was the first time Kohl has ever vomited.
The day started off well. I took Kohl down to the duck pond to run around, but a little after we arrived and started running he threw up. However, he was right back to running around and laughing.
We met and petted 4 dogs, threw acorn pieces into the pond, and chased some ducks.

He started yawning so we headed back to where the stroller and he wanted me to carry him so that should have been a sign. I thought of it as a sign that he was ready for a nap.

Once we got home I put him down for a nap, but he played around for awhile before finally dozing of. He napped for almost 3 hours that should have been another sign, but sometimes he takes long naps. After his nap time I went to get him up and he had vomited. He was just laying there in his vomit. At first I was grossed out, but "nurse mom" jumped in and started a bath and changed his bed sheets. Duties of a mother are endless.

So blessed 11.24.14

Finding out your friend, who's not much older then you, had a stroke makes you realize that the body is complicated and fragile.
While she had a stroke, I am going into shock. Thankfully she is doing well, and improving as she learns to walk, and move, and function again.
It scares me to think she's in better health then me,  and here she had a stroke.
I am a diabetic with high blood sugars because I don't think about what I put into my body. I put no effort into taking care of me, because honestly it's too much work.
What poor self-esteem,  no self worth.  No wonder I'm depressed.  And the discomfort I feel in my own body gives me anxiety to face the world outside my home.
This has got to stop! I have been given a precise gift, and I have to fight to keep it.

18 months old, and still growing.

September 9th
My Boy isn't a baby much anymore. Today he turned 18th months and is very much a toddler, and I'm a little saddened. I miss the little 8lb. bundle I use to hold in my arms. However, he's sweet to cuddle with me once in awhile.
I have had to buy bigger clothes, and some t-shirts he wears are size 2T. Baby faze is almost gone, but this kid is turning into a independent self learner. He amazes me with the things he can do with out help from me or Tim.
We had a fun day just playing inside the house. He loves to climb everything, so if you can imagine he was up and down and all over the sofas. Except we did go out for a quick trip to Toys R Us for a fun new toy. We bought him a Fisher Price Corn Popper which he insists carrying around instead of pushing it so that it 'Pops'.

I wouldn't want it any other way... I have been given a beautiful gift from God, and I am so very grateful to be blessed with this sweet, excitable, goofy little boy

Saturday, September 27th
Tim and I finally decided it was time for Kohl to get his hair cut. I did some searching and found a place that specializes in kids hair cuts.
So the appointment was made, and off we went for one of  Kohl's 1st. He was excited. He was clapping his hands while we drove to the place. He even was giggling and smiling. They greeted with big smiles, and they were very friendly, but Kohl wasn't very happy once the electric clippers came on. I surprised myself in not crying, but now the after fact I'm sad to see my baby grow up. He kept reaching for me so I made sure to stick to him as much as possible while taking pictures. Once all was done he looked so handsome...They offered a certificate with pieces of his hair as a keepsake, which was something that impressed me.

For being a good boy, and sitting through the hair cut he got a sucker, which he took to like glue and paper. After the hair cut we went to IHOP for a late breakfast/ lunch, Mmm, Yummy... We had a good time there, and the waitresses all had to come say "Hi" to the cutie. It was cute how he flirted with each and everyone one of them.

Naptime

it was nap time for Kohl so I layed down with him in my bed and as I watched him fall asleep I couldn't help but imagine that this was how he slept in my womb.  I cried at the sight of this beautiful little boy. I don't want him to change.

Our week of craziness- August 12th-18th 2013

Monday, August 12th
The week started with waking up in our house for the last time.
We spent the day packing up what was left, and that evening some family members from Tim's side helped us load up our U haul boxes. We didn't get everything,  but what was left was small and would take us no time. It was about 10:30 pm by the time all was said and done. We packed up our stuff and moved over to Tim's parents'.

Tuesday, August 13th
We ate breakfast and then went shopping for some slacks that Tim needed for work. We also found him a few new shirts. Then we headed out to the house to finish packing, but had to be back to the parents to feed Kohl and eat dinner, so we did that and headed back to our house where our U haul boxes where gone. It was upsetting because we weren't finished loading them, and neither one of us had called to schedule them for pick up. By this time the store was closed, and we had to wait until morning to get the issue resolved. I went ahead and packed up the little that was left,  and then we went back to his parents to go to bed.

Wednesday,  August 14th
By the time I got up about 9am Tim had contacted U haul, and our boxes were back at our house. So after breakfast we went straight out and loaded the last of our things. Took us about an hour, and we were done.
That afternoon I got to take a nap, a pretty long one as well as Kohl, and Tim. I sure love naps. When we woke it was time to drop off Kohl with Tim's sister so that we could have our last date night for a few weeks.
We went to Union Grill in Ogden. It's a popular place to dine at. We had a good time, with good food, and yummy desserts,  and excellent service. Then we went back to get Kohl and had even more fun talking with Jenny and her family. This would be the last time for Tim as he was leaving for Texas.

Thursday, August 15th
Today was a big day. We were flying out to Texas to get Tim settled to start his New job on Monday, as well as find a house to rent that accommodated us with 2 dogs, and buy a car for Tim. We started early getting up. Ate breakfast with his parents.  Then we drove down to drop off our precious little boy with my parents, and then we were on our way.
We parked the car in one of those long term parking lots, and were shuttled up to the airport terminal. Checked in our bags, went through security check, and then we waited. 

It seemed like a long time, but it wasn't. However they were experiencing some minor problems. They had to get another plane because the original one had hit a bird strike and blew out an engine. Then they were over booked and asked if we'd take the later flight non-stop. We said fine, but then later we were called back to the desk where they were able to keep us on the existing flight, however the flight was delayed by 45 minutes.
We finally get off, and were in Denver in what seemed like 30 minutes, but took 60. We landed,  and sorta panicked as our connecting flight was scheduled to leave right as we pulled up. Thankfully they were running behind, and we connected flights.
We were then up and on our way to Dallas/Fort Worth. That took another 80 minutes.
The sun was starting to set when we landed,  and everything looked amazing. We got our bags, and our rental car and we were off to finding our hotel with out mobile GPS. That was some what stressful, but we made it and after we checked in we went looking for some place to eat. After many turns, and trial by error we found Chili's and decided to eat there.

Friday, August 16th
We got free breakfast which wasn't all too bad. I really loved the bagels. Yummy! Then we checked out of the hotel and waited for our realtor Tracy, whom by the way is awesome, to pick us up. 

I don't remember why, but we ended up going and meeting her at her office instead. We found a house that we really liked and started to fill out the applications, but right as we finished them Tracy got a call that the house already went. Crap! So she got back online and looked for a few more and we went back out looking.  Found another great house, however they won't allow our dogs. Load of crap! So we're back to square one. By this time we were all tired, and so we ended for the day. That evening Tracy sent a few more possibilities thru email, and there was one that looked promising wanted to possibly check it out Saturday.
Tired but with too much to take care of we were off to Best Buy where we bought a Tom Tom GPS to help us navigate Texas's strange roads, then using our new toy we took off to Carmax to buy Tim a car.
He picked out something I never thought he'd choose, but he seemed to really like which is a Chevy Cobalt in orange. It had low miles and was in our price range. It was perfect for what he needs.
Once we drove off with a new car, it was to the grocery store for a few essential items Tim was going to need for the next 2 Weeks. I was beat! I was really missing my baby, but my family was sweet to send me some pictures....

Saturday,  August 17th
After a long somewhat good nights sleep, Tim and I went to I HOP for some breakfast. We got a call from Tracy about the house we saw from the listing from the night before, and talking of going out to see it. She said she'd call us back. We ate breakfast and then went back to the hotel were I decided I needed a nap. Took a nap and about 1 1/2 later got a call from Tracy saying we were late... some where communication got mixed or misinterpreted,  but we drove out to look at the property without Tracy since she had another appointment.  From the outside it looked great, but the inside was very unappealing. I just didn't feel comfortable with it, so we were done with houses for the weekend.  Total bust for me, since that was my main goal while I was there. We stopped for dinner on our way back.

Sunday, August 18th
It was our last day together for 2 weeks. It was time for me to head back to Utah to finish things there before we all moved to Texas. It was an emotional day for me. I have never been away from Tim for longer then a day. Imagining the next 2 weeks with out him was hard. We enjoyed the day finishing up errands to make sure Tim was settled, and he took me out for a special treat to Olive Garden before I had to catch my flight. It was such a romantic meal for us. I couldn't stop staring at him, and he'd smile right back at me. Dreadfully we said our farewells at the gate of the airport. Boy how I was going to miss him. While I waited to board the plane I found this adorable onesie for Kohl.

"Kohl, Mommy's coming home."

My flight was pleasant had 1 short lay over in Denver, and on the flight to Salt Lake I spoke to the girl who sat next to me the whole way. Before I knew it we were landing at the Salt Lake International Airport. It was past 10pm, but I gathered my bad and was shuttled back to my car. By this time I was so anxious to see my baby. I got in my car and drove to my parents where I ended up crashing on their sofa, but not before staring at my sweet angel boy sleeping away in his crib.

Christmas Firsts

Dear Kohl,
This is your first Christmas and as the fact that you are too young to remember I wanted to write down the events of the holiday for you to read one day. Christmas Eve day you and I spent most of the time napping. You were just so tired. Daddy had to work part of the day, but once he was finished and you weren't sleeping ... the two of you played together.
It was a pretty quiet day. Mommy and Daddy were missing family back in Utah,  but you brightened
our day with your smile.
Before bedtime you got to open a gift, and you weren't sure about the unwrapping but were excited non the less. You got new jammies from Grandma & Grandpa Jensen.
Before bed like every night you took a bath, and then Mommy dressed you in your Christmas Pajamas. You slept pretty well through the night... I got up once with you, but we were able to sleep til 8:00 am Christmas morning.

Christmas morning we all woke up and went downstairs.  I fed you and after you finished your breakfast I gave you your first stocking full of fun toys from Santa.

While you and Daddy were playing I prepared cinnamon rolls and orange rolls for Mommy and Daddy's breakfast. Once those were done baking we sat down by the tree and opened presents. First you got some books, which later you tore out a page. Second you got a sit-to-stand learning walker, but you were more interested in the box that it came in. You tried to climb on top of it of the box, also you enjoyed being inside a box. To Mommy you were the best present.

 The rest of the day was spent playing with toys, watching fun Christmas movies, and being together as a family. Oh how Mommy and Daddy love you Kohl. You made this Christmas such a fun one, as it was your first Christmas. Mommy and Daddy look forward to many more fun Christmas's together with you!

A few days after Christmas you helped Mommy figure out where the safety harness straps should go for your new car seat. You were a trooper in letting Mommy take some pictures of you sitting in it.