Coming up on 10 weeks...pregnant that is

Disclosure: I began writing this blog on Thursday, August 16th, and so continued as if still the same day even though it is now Friday.

I still feel like a hippopotamus, but now I'm beginning to look it. I'm developing my "baby bump" as some may call it. It just looks weird with my over weight belly and my waistline in the middle drawing a nice noticeable divide. Erggg....
I'm currently at 9 weeks 6 days, and actually feeling really good. I switched to taking my prenatal vitamins to evenings instead of mornings and that has helped tremendously. The biggest thing is controlling my blood sugars, and unfortunately it's come down to that I need insulin. My body isn't producing enough especially now that I'm growing a mini me. Honestly, at the first idea I was a bit upset, but now I just don't care because I will do whatever it takes to make sure this child is healthy, and has a fair fighting chance. I love my dijete (de-yai-tai, Korean for little one.)
I had an interesting experience with this NuMom2B steady today. First off I was warned that it'll take about 1 1/2 hours...
My goodness the amount of paperwork you go thru. Let's just say ridiculous, but don't get me wrong. I wanted to do this. Medicine/ Health care is ever changing or advancing should I say, and they need volunteers to help them grow.
Any ways, back to point. So with the study they drew my blood, and took other body fluid samples. Plus as kind of a bonus I got another ultrasound of the baby. This time for me it seemed REALLY, real. The nurse showed me the heart beat (again, this being the 2nd time I've seen it) and the baby's heartbeat is at 184bpm. Normal and healthy. Also we could see the shape of the baby. It's so cute. It was funny how the nurse used the term bottom instead of butt. Also with the ultrasound she checked my ovaries and uterine wall, and everything looks good.

Everyone there is really nice, and they try to make you as comfortable as possible. I actually had a few laughs with everyone.
By the time I got out of there it had been 2 1/2 hours, but it didn't even seem that long.
Oh! the best part is that my next visit in October I get to find out the sex of the baby. FINALLY! I can't wait. I've been wanting to know for the past 2 weeks.

8 weeks 3 days

I don't know how to say it or put it into words. I don't want to be like every other new mom to be, but I can't help but feel the same way, and express the same things....

First off I have to say that I AM so grateful to be present in this era with modern technology and medicine, because I'm really beginning to think that this is going to be a special and risky pregnancy.

So today was my second appointment with my great OB Dr. Cardona. We did another ultrasound, and she showed me the heartbeat which I can't even put into words what I felt. Afterwards we talked more about my diabetes with this pregnancy and getting all my lab work done. Currently my numbers are too high for a pregnancy, so we're doubling my Metformin, and I'll be working with a special/high risk doctor to monitor my blood sugars. There is a high possibilities that near the end of the pregnancy I may have to go on insulin, but it won't be permanent.
Some how when she said that I already knew that was what was going to happen. Come on, I am in the obese weight category. Even though pre-pregnancy I had lost weight I'm still over weight. My current feelings are that I want to continue losing weight, but that's not doable at the moment.
So, I will try to walk at least 30 minutes 3-5 days a week, prick my fingers 4 times a day, and be stricter with my diet. If I have to take insulin so be it.... I'm going to do my best to provide this baby with the best so that it is as healthy as possible.
Now that I think about it, could the Lord be teaching me lesson? I've known for years that I have to lose weight, I need to eat healthy, etc. Could it just be that He knew that this was the time to take it even more seriously, and that with being pregnant I'd take super care of myself?

Continuing on from my rant, I have yet another doctors appointment next week. Actually two on the same day. One is with my primary physician, and then the other is with the high risk/specialist. With the specialist I will be reporting my blood sugar levels weekly, so I'm really under watchful care.
And then I saw Dr. Cardona in a months time.

I'm feeling nervous and scared not for my own sake, but for the babys'. I want this child to be born healthy, without complications.
Lord give me strength!

A hippopotamus named Brigeeta

I'm feeling like a bloated hippopotamus. I really feel uncomfortable with myself. It is so bad that I HATE having to leave the house. Now I don't know if that's the hormones talking or my depression... especially since I have discontinued taking my anti-depressant for the remainer of my pregnancy.
I just can't seem to be comfortable in my clothes except for my pajamas, but even then I still feel disgusting.
Please don't get me wrong. I am estatic to be pregnant. I've been wanting a child for well over 4 years now, and now for it to actually be happening I couldn't be more happy with the fact.

I've been terrible and self fish for not giving more thanks to my Heavenly Father before, but I thank my Lord evey single day and only ask that if He sees fit that this child be been born healthy.
I have so many concerns since I am Diabetic type 2. In at least the last year that I can remember I really took seriously this condition, and made sure to get my blood sugar levels down and steady to where they needed to be before getting pregnant. With the past 3 visits with my Dr. I'd celebrate because my levels where perfect, but now I'm off certain medications I've been taking to control my blood sugars, and getting a little scared that I won't be able to control myself with my diet.
I'm already experienceing some cravings, and I've been pretty good so far to not over indulge myself, but I know it will only get worse and harder.

Today I have my second appointment with my OB Dr. Cardona. I don't mind seeing the doctor or waiting in the waiting area, but I just don't feel comfortable with myself that I'd rather just hide behind doors. Perferrably the ones to my house.
There will be a post following this one as a status update on my pregnancy. I hope that everything is going well down there, and maybe my doctor can ease me out of this funk I'm feeling!