8 weeks 3 days

I don't know how to say it or put it into words. I don't want to be like every other new mom to be, but I can't help but feel the same way, and express the same things....

First off I have to say that I AM so grateful to be present in this era with modern technology and medicine, because I'm really beginning to think that this is going to be a special and risky pregnancy.

So today was my second appointment with my great OB Dr. Cardona. We did another ultrasound, and she showed me the heartbeat which I can't even put into words what I felt. Afterwards we talked more about my diabetes with this pregnancy and getting all my lab work done. Currently my numbers are too high for a pregnancy, so we're doubling my Metformin, and I'll be working with a special/high risk doctor to monitor my blood sugars. There is a high possibilities that near the end of the pregnancy I may have to go on insulin, but it won't be permanent.
Some how when she said that I already knew that was what was going to happen. Come on, I am in the obese weight category. Even though pre-pregnancy I had lost weight I'm still over weight. My current feelings are that I want to continue losing weight, but that's not doable at the moment.
So, I will try to walk at least 30 minutes 3-5 days a week, prick my fingers 4 times a day, and be stricter with my diet. If I have to take insulin so be it.... I'm going to do my best to provide this baby with the best so that it is as healthy as possible.
Now that I think about it, could the Lord be teaching me lesson? I've known for years that I have to lose weight, I need to eat healthy, etc. Could it just be that He knew that this was the time to take it even more seriously, and that with being pregnant I'd take super care of myself?

Continuing on from my rant, I have yet another doctors appointment next week. Actually two on the same day. One is with my primary physician, and then the other is with the high risk/specialist. With the specialist I will be reporting my blood sugar levels weekly, so I'm really under watchful care.
And then I saw Dr. Cardona in a months time.

I'm feeling nervous and scared not for my own sake, but for the babys'. I want this child to be born healthy, without complications.
Lord give me strength!