I'm feeling like a bloated hippopotamus. I really feel uncomfortable with myself. It is so bad that I HATE having to leave the house. Now I don't know if that's the hormones talking or my depression... especially since I have discontinued taking my anti-depressant for the remainer of my pregnancy.
I just can't seem to be comfortable in my clothes except for my pajamas, but even then I still feel disgusting.
Please don't get me wrong. I am estatic to be pregnant. I've been wanting a child for well over 4 years now, and now for it to actually be happening I couldn't be more happy with the fact.
I've been terrible and self fish for not giving more thanks to my Heavenly Father before, but I thank my Lord evey single day and only ask that if He sees fit that this child be been born healthy.
I have so many concerns since I am Diabetic type 2. In at least the last year that I can remember I really took seriously this condition, and made sure to get my blood sugar levels down and steady to where they needed to be before getting pregnant. With the past 3 visits with my Dr. I'd celebrate because my levels where perfect, but now I'm off certain medications I've been taking to control my blood sugars, and getting a little scared that I won't be able to control myself with my diet.
I'm already experienceing some cravings, and I've been pretty good so far to not over indulge myself, but I know it will only get worse and harder.
Today I have my second appointment with my OB Dr. Cardona. I don't mind seeing the doctor or waiting in the waiting area, but I just don't feel comfortable with myself that I'd rather just hide behind doors. Perferrably the ones to my house.
There will be a post following this one as a status update on my pregnancy. I hope that everything is going well down there, and maybe my doctor can ease me out of this funk I'm feeling!
2 comments:
Brigetta, I am so sorry. I honestly know how you feel. I've brought it up to a few people that no one talks about the stress of gaining weight during pregnancy. You hear plenty of horror stories but not the part about having issues with your body image. I'm trying so hard just to keep my head focused around the idea that I need to gain weight to have a healthy baby, then I'll bust my buns to hopefully get some of it off. I love you, I hope you feel better. You always look completely adorable to me. You know I always comment on how cute you look.
If anyone looks adorable, it is you Becky. I can't get over how great you look everyday, SERIOUSLY!
Thank you for your kind words. Once we both have our babies let's bust our buns together...
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